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Whether it’s on Thanksgiving or Christmas, if you are like me, you sit down for dinner with plenty of non-veg folks that you love for the holidays. Dining with people you love dearly who still somehow haven’t figured out that it’s messed up to eat animals? NOTHING puts that idea into perspective better than serving up some seriously delicious stuffed tofu turkey that’s been carefully crafted into the shape of a human baby.
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Don’t be scared, though. If you aren’t a skilled sculptor, you can still make this stuffed tofu in any non-baby shape (like, uh, a boring ol’ loaf, if you want), and it still slaps super-pleasingly!
My wife and I started hosting our large extended family’s Thanksgiving about 15 years ago when we just couldn’t stomach another family gathering centered around a dead animal. And guess what? Our 30+ guests every year LOVE the vegan Thanksgiving recipes we lay out for them, usually topped off with an extra slice of my vegan apple pie or some of the New York Times-featured apple cider donuts that made me kinda famous some years back.
I know if you make this bad, bad baby, your family will love your vegan holiday menu even more, even though at first, they might think you lost your dang mind. I believe in you and can’t wait to help you pull off the most delicious, most controversial Thanksgiving dinner centerpiece of all time.
Jump to:
- 🥰 Why you’ll adore this human baby-shaped Tofu Turkey recipe
- 👨🍼 Ingredients for this tofu turkey baby
- 🤯Variations
- 📖 How to Birth a tofu turkey baby
- 🙄 If you want a boring, non-baby shaped tofu loaf:
- 💡Serving Ideas
- 👉Top tips
- 🤷♀️ Recipe FAQs
- ✌️Vegan Thanksgiving Stuff to Serve with a baby-shaped Tofu Turkey:
- Tofu Turkey Recipe (Oh Goodie, it’s Shaped Like a Human Baby!)
🥰 Why you’ll adore this human baby-shaped Tofu Turkey recipe
👨🍼 Uh, it’s Shaped Like a Gosh Darned Baby: “Tofu loaf” is the most cliché thing you could serve at a holiday meal to non-vegan guests. Do that, and you are pretty much guaranteed to get made fun of. Make it into a baby shape? Now who has the last laugh? It subtly points out the absurdity of eating meat while being way more delicious and leaving everyone feeling much better than if they ate a bird.
⭐️ This is the best tasting tofu baby: Get ready, because the taste of a roasted baby will take you to the upper echelons of plant-based dining… It’s kinda the same logic that makes my vegan chili recipe so much better than the competition (uh, spoiler alert: it’s because I serve it in a hat).
🌾 Perfectly Textured: The tofu mixture is combined with flour and breadcrumbs to create a firm, dough-like consistency that holds up well during baking. This also makes it easier to form and mold into the delicate features of a human baby… Plus, it's not as tough as tofu turkey recipes that call for vital wheat gluten.
✅ Tested and Approved Worldwide: Like all of the vegan recipes I share, after tweaking and perfecting this recipe over the course of 15+ years, I shared it with a massive team of recipe testers who replicated it successfully, whether in baby shape or otherwise, all around the world.
👨🍼 Ingredients for this tofu turkey baby
Nutritional Yeast
What? You know not about nooch? Ok, look. If you haven't had a plate of vegan fajitas just dripping with vegan nacho cheese, you have no idea how delightfully cheesy this ingredient can be! But the small amount in this recipe also gives a nice boost to the savory/umami flavor of your wee little tofu baby, making it a downright stunner for all to behold.
Poultry Seasoning
No, you great big goofus, poultry seasoning isn't made out of poultry; it's intended FOR poultry! But that doesn’t mean you can't season a gosh darn baby with it, right? Poultry seasoning blends herbs like sage, thyme, and rosemary, giving the tofu mixture a savory, herbaceous taste that vibes perfectly with the stuffing you are gonna fill this ol' baby with.
Tamari
Tamari is a type of soy sauce with a deeper flavor and less sodium, adding umami and saltiness to the tofu mixture. You can also totally rock this recipe with coconut aminos, shoyu, or regular soy sauce, but since I also cook a ton of gluten-free vegan recipes, I like to just keep one type of soy sauce on hand, so this is what makes sense in my pantry.
Flour
All-purpose flour helps to bind the tofu mixture and gives it a firm, dough-like consistency. If you use a gluten-free flour mix instead (and use gluten-free breadcrumbs), you can make this tofu baby 100% safe if you are gluten intolerant.
Breadcrumbs
I like to use panko breadcrumbs for this recipe because they are lighter in color, a little bigger, and provide a bit more structure than regular ol' breadcrumbs. But for sure, if you just use normal breadcrumbs, the recipe still works great.
Rice Paper
Rice paper is probably the easiest-to-find solution for making the crispy skin of your baby. The only downside is that it can get a little stretchy if you store your leftovers for a few days. Another great option is to use soy skin (yuba), as I do in my vegan turkey recipe.
If you have leftover rice paper from this project, you should 100% make my rice paper salad recipe or banh trang cuon next.
Miso
Miso paste contributes umami depth and a slightly salty flavor to the basting liquid. You can totes use doenjang (like I use in my Korean tofu soup recipe), Chinese fermented bean paste, or taucu (like I use in my vegan chicken recipe) in place of the miso, if that's what you've got on hand.
*See the recipe card at the bottom of the page for exact quantities, nutritional info, and detailed cooking directions.
🤯Variations
Distinguished Gentleman Baked Tofu Baby
Have you always sorta wanted to eat the Monopoly Man but couldn’t eat him because you are vegan and don’t harm sentient beings? Well, you are in luck! Because after baking, you can pop a little top hat filled with vegan mashed potatoes right up on this puppy. Give your baby a (thoroughly washed, please) monocle too, if you are one of the large percentage of people who believe, due to the Mandela Effect, that the monopoly guy wore one of those…
Gender Reveal Tofu Turkey
Just kidding. Gender is nothing more than a mental construct. This gender non-conforming baby is not here to make your guests concerned about what kind of genitals it was born with. Nope, that’s weird and gross. Rather, your baby-shaped tofu turkey roast is here to create a revolution that causes everyone in the galaxy to stop eating animals. Sorry, not sorry.
📖 How to Birth a tofu turkey baby
Whether you’re making it in baby form, or a more basic, non-controversial shape, you will knock this vegan Turkey roast outta the park by following these step-by-step photos with helpful tips. Or scroll down to the bottom of this page for the easy-to-print recipe card.
Step One
Baby Prep - Conception:
Press the tofu dry, or at least pat it dry with a kitchen towel. Break up the tofu into small pieces and add it to a food processor along with the minced garlic, nutritional yeast, olive oil, poultry seasoning, coriander, oregano, ground black pepper, and tamari. Blend for about 2 minutes until smooth.
✅ If you are doubling this recipe to make a great big ol’ baby, or have a small food processor, you may need to puree in two separate batches.
Step Two
We want firm vegan baby flesh:
Transfer the tofu mixture to a large bowl or stand mixer bowl. Stir in the all-purpose flour and breadcrumbs, mixing by hand or with a stand mixer until you achieve a somewhat firm, dough-like consistency.
Step Three
Baby's First Steps:
Lightly grease a parchment paper-lined baking sheet. Spread about a cup of the tofu mixture in the center, shaping it into a flat, sorta baby-shaped base. Pack the prepared stuffing on top to form the core of the baby. Use the remaining tofu mixture to mold around the stuffing, creating a baby-like shape.
Step Four
Make it more realistic:
Spend a while working with wet hands and/or an offset spatula to fill in some details like a defined face, arms, and legs and feet.
✅ Smooth out any cracks by gently rubbing the outside of the baby with well-moistened, clean hands.
Step Five
Swaddling Wrap:
Soak the rice paper sheets in warm water, one at a time, until they are pliable. Drape each sheet over the tofu baby, tucking the edges underneath. Use a butter knife or offset spatula to press the rice paper into the tofu, shaping realistic facial features and defining the fingers. Refine the details as needed.
Step Six
Amniotic Fluids:
In a blender or small bowl with a fork, mix the maple syrup, Dijon mustard, miso paste, vegetable stock, and olive oil to create the basting liquid.
Step Seven
Baby Bath Time:
Brush the tofu baby generously with the basting liquid, keeping some reserved to baste it twice again while it bakes.
Step Eight
Roast that Darned Baby!
Place the tofu baby in the oven and bake at 375°F (190°C) for 50-60 minutes until crispy and dark golden brown.
Halfway through, baste again to enhance the skin's color and crispiness.
Just before removing from the oven, apply one final coat of basting liquid for a rich, golden finish. Let the tofu baby rest (🤫baby so sleepy) for 10 minutes (perhaps on a bed of roasted Brussels sprouts and carrots before slicing and serving.
🙄 If you want a boring, non-baby shaped tofu loaf:
Lightly oil a parchment paper-lined baking sheet, and crease a large loaf pan or mixing bowl very well. Using wet hand, press the tofu into the bowl or pan covering the bottom and sides with about an inch (2.5 cm) or tofu mixture.
Fill the center with stuffing and use gentle pressure to make sure there are not manu air pockets throughout.
Cover the top with the remaining tofu mixture.
Place the parchment lined baking pan on top of the bowl of tofu, with the parchment facing the tofu. Carefully flip the bowl and pan over together, and then give a few gentle taps around the top of the bowl/pan to release the tofu onto the baking sheet.
✅ If the tofu struggles to release from the pan, use a paring knife to go around the edge of the pan to help it break free.
✅ if any spot have mixing tofu once to transfer the loaf to the baking sheet, use an offset spatula or moist hand to patch it up with extra tofu mixture.
Baste and roast the tofu loaf that same as you would roast a human baby-shaped tofu thingy, following the baking directions above.
💡Serving Ideas
You know what your big, bad baby wants dumped into the crib with him? Fill up a baby bottle of brown vegan gravy (so sadly, mushroom gravy and vegan sausage gravy will not flow through the nipple and will make nursing difficult) and chuck it in.
Maybe one of those boppies full of Turkish cranberry relish, or maple bourbon cranberry sauce? How about you just empty out the cd cases from your baby Einstein box set, and pack those to the brim with candied yams or vegan green bean casserole?
Did you check on the baby? Oh! You cant! That’s because you emptied out the battery compartment on your infant monitor and filled it all up with roasted carrot lentil soup. Your plan? To sip warm soup straight outta that white plastic surveillance device. You truly are the parent of the year!
👉Top tips
- Dry the Tofu: Before blending, press the extra firm tofu to remove excess moisture. This makes the “tofu dough” a lot easier to mold and shape into a fully featured little human being.
- Don’t Over-Season: Taste the tofu mixture before shaping and adjust the seasonings as needed. Remember, you are gonna fill this babe up with flavorful stuffing, baste the wee little kid as it bakes, and serve it with gravy. So if you adjust the seasonings, don’t make it too salty.
- Plump That Baby Up: The soft will sag and flatten a little as it bakes, so make the shapes and facial features a little larger and more exaggerated, knowing them will become less intense as they bake.
- Smooth as a Baby’s Bottom: When shaping the tofu baby, use wet hands or a spatula to smooth out the surface and avoid cracks. Having a smooth surface makes it easier for the skin to adhere without getting dried out from air bubbles under the surface.
- Rotate for Even Browning: Halfway through baking, rotate the baking sheet 180 degrees to ensure even cooking and browning. Especially if you have hot spots in your oven, this will prevent uneven crisping and ensures a uniformly golden and crispy exterior.
- To Transfer, or Not-To-Transfer? It can be tricky and wee bit dangerous to transfer your baby from the pan you bake it on, onto an attractive serving dish. You can serve it right from the baking pan, especially if you pretty-up the platter by surrounding the baby with greens and herbs. Otherwise, I recommend using one or two large cake transfer tools for moving the baby. Another option is to cut the baby and move it in a few large pieces.
- Not Everyone is Fit to Be a Parent: Don’t feel shy to just make a normal meatloaf shape. It’s boring as heck, but will still be delicious, and perhaps will be less strange for your guests, which I guess matters to some Thanksgiving hosts (obviously, not me)
🤷♀️ Recipe FAQs
If you don't have rice paper, you can use rehydrated Yuba instead. But honestly, rice paper is typically easier to find.
Make sure there are no air pocket in the stuffing inside the baby. Also, make sure the dough is stiff enough not to droop too much as it bakes. The skin layer also helps create structure so your entree comes out looking as freaky as possible…
What’s the alternative? Killing and eating a bird? The whole point of this recipe is to give you a conversation starter around the holiday table to gently and playfully point out the absurdity of harming sentient creatures for food.
If it gets just one of your guests to think more deeply about why we shouldn’t be treating animals as food, then your mission is accomplished!
Plus- this easy vegan tofu baby is way yummier that your average holiday roast anyway, right?
I mean, put it this way, is a vegan tofu turkey roast somehow more ethical? I mean it's shaped like a dead animal. How is that not just as weird and morbid as a human baby? Every living being is someone's baby.
🧊 Refrigeration and Freezing
Store any leftover vegan stuffed tofu baby in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to five days. For longer storage, freeze the tofu baby in a freezer-safe container for up to three months. Thaw it in the refrigerator overnight before reheating.
🥵 Oven Reheating
Preheat your oven to three hundred fifty degrees Fahrenheit (one hundred seventy-five degrees Celsius). Place the tofu baby on a baking sheet and heat for about fifteen to twenty minutes, or until warmed through and the skin is crisp.
🔥 Stovetop Reheating
Heat a non-stick skillet over medium heat. Slice the tofu baby and cook the slices for about three to five minutes on each side, or until heated through and crispy.
⚡️ Microwave Reheating
Place slices of the tofu baby on a microwave-safe plate. Cover with a microwave-safe lid or a damp paper towel and heat on high for two to three minutes, or until heated through. Note that the skin may not remain crispy when using the microwave.
✌️Vegan Thanksgiving Stuff to Serve with a baby-shaped Tofu Turkey:
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Learn to make plant-based meat from the seitan master himself, in this super-fun & informative class with Chef Adam Sobel!
Tofu Turkey Recipe (Oh Goodie, it’s Shaped Like a Human Baby!)
Ingredients
Tofu Mixture:
- 3 14 oz. blocks extra-firm tofu
- 4 teaspoons minced garlic
- ½ cup nutritional yeast
- ¼ cup olive oil
- 1 tablespoon poultry seasoning
- 1 teaspoon coriander
- 1 teaspoon oregano
- ½ teaspoon ground black pepper
- ¾ cup tamari
- 4 cups all-purpose flour
- 2 cup bread crumbs
Stuffing:
- 5 cups vegan stuffing or vegan cornbread stuffing
Delicious Baby Skin:
- 5-6 10- inch sheets rice paper
Basting Liquid:
- 1 tablespoon maple syrup
- 2 teaspoons dijon mustard
- 2 tablespoons miso paste
- ½ cup unsalted vegetable stock
- ½ cup olive oil
Instructions
- Place the tofu, minced garlic, nutritional yeast, olive oil, poultry seasoning, coriander, oregano, ground black pepper, and tamari in a food processor. Puree until the mixture is smooth and well-blended.
- Transfer the tofu mixture to a large bowl. Gradually add the all-purpose flour and bread crumbs, mixing by hand or using a stand mixer until you have a firm, dough-like consistency.
- Lightly oil a parchment paper-lined baking sheet. Spread a couple of cups of the tofu mixture onto the center of the sheet, shaping it into a flat base. Pack the prepared stuffing into a compact shape and place it on top of the tofu base to form the core of the baby.
- Using the remaining tofu mixture, carefully shape it around the stuffing, sculpting it into the form of a human baby. Focus on creating a realistic shape with a defined head, arms, and legs. For beginners, it's helpful to start by forming a rounded head, then add the torso and limbs. Smooth out the surface to eliminate any cracks.
- Preheat your oven to 375°F (190°C).
- Soak the rice paper sheets in warm water one at a time until pliable. Drape each sheet over the tofu baby, tucking the edges underneath. Use a butter knife or offset spatula to gently press the rice paper into the tofu, creating realistic facial features, such as eyes, nose, and mouth. Shape the rice paper around the hands to define the fingers. The rice paper will stretch and mold easily, so take your time to refine the details.
- In and blender or in a small bowl with the tines of a fork, mix together the maple syrup, dijon mustard, miso paste, vegetable stock, and olive oil to create the basting liquid.
- Brush the tofu baby generously with the basting liquid. Place it in the oven and bake at 375°F (190°C) for 50-60 minutes. Halfway through baking, baste the baby again with the liquid to enhance the skin's color and crispiness. About five minutes before removing it from the oven, give it one final basting to ensure a rich, golden finish.
- Allow the tofu baby to rest for 10 minutes before serving. Slice and present it alongside your favorite Thanksgiving dishes. If you are super-weird, you can also serve your gravy warm in a baby bottle.
Video
Notes
Before blending, press the tofu to remove excess moisture. This makes the tofu mixture easier to shape into a detailed little human. 🧂 Season with Caution
Taste the tofu mixture before shaping and adjust seasonings as needed. Keep in mind that the stuffing, basting, and gravy add plenty of flavor, so don’t overdo the salt. 👶 Smooth Baby Skin
When shaping the tofu baby, use wet hands or a spatula to smooth the surface. A smooth finish helps the skin adhere properly and prevents drying out. 🔄 Spin for Even Crisping
Rotate the baking sheet 180 degrees halfway through baking to ensure even browning. This prevents uneven crisping, especially if your oven has hot spots. 👨👩👧👦 The Simple Loaf Life
If sculpting a baby feels too weird, creepy, or you just don’t have the sculpting confidence: it’s ok! Go with a simple loaf shape. It’s almost as tasty, even though you will be missing the chance to finally fulfill your dreams of nonviolent cannibalism or whatever… 🎨 Exaggerate to Perfection
The tofu baby will flatten as it bakes, so make the shapes and facial features larger and more pronounced, anticipating some loss of detail. 🚚 Baby on Board
Transferring your tofu baby can be tricky. Serve it straight from the baking pan with garnishes, or use large cake transfer tools to move it, or cut it into sections before transferring.
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Kathleen McKee says
Thanks to Adam I now have a Thanksgiving main dish recipe I will be using over and over. We really enjoyed this, especially with his fantastic gravy. Thank you!
Rachel says
This is the funniest thing I have ever seen on the whole internet. Ever. This is actually a fantastic recipe even if you don't have the skills (or courage) to craft a human baby out of processed tofu paste 😀
Joe says
This is absolutely amazing. Can't wait to make it! 5 stars for the best idea ever.