Vegan Meat Recipes

Spongy seitan is almost always a boiling problem. If you drop it into a rolling boil, it puffs up like a pool noodle and comes out with the texture of a nasty wet brain. Keep it at a gentle simmer, or skip the pot and steam it wrapped snug in parchment or cheesecloth. Tight wrapping makes it dense and chewy instead of bloated.
Rubbery seitan comes from the other direction: way too much kneading, or not enough fat and liquid in the dough. Knead just until it holds together, let it rest 10 minutes, and then let the finished seitan cool completely before you slice it. I know you want to cut it hot. I'm begging you, don't. It firms up as it cools, and that's where the real "for realsies, this isn't meat?" texture happens.

Absolutely, m'darling.
Gluten is great (unless your body doesn't get along with it famously), but it's not the only player in town.
Tofu that's been frozen, thawed, and pressed gets chewy and layered in the hyper-lovely way (see my tofu katsu and vegan schnitzel recipe). Tempeh, and tofu both crumble into a solid ground "beef." -Check out my vegan picadillo or tofu tacos for some of that tofu beef inspo.

King oyster mushrooms shred into ridiculously-convincing pulled "pork," and young green jackfruit does the same thing in vegan carnitas and BBQ sandwiches.
For crumbles, TVP (textured vegetable protein) is your secret weapon, and soy curls make some mega-dope meaty bits too. Both are cheap, it lasts forever in the pantry, and once you hit them with a smoky, savory broth, nobody at the table is gonna ask where the cow/chicken/piggy went.

Oh, it's not even close. A bag of vital wheat gluten turns into several pounds of seitan for roughly what one tiny package of fancy store-bought vegan chicken costs. Those brands are charging you premium prices for something that's mostly gluten, water, and a marketing budget.
And price is only half of it.
When you make it yourself, you control the salt, the smoke, the spices, and the texture, so you can make it taste like your favorite thing instead of a focus group's. Plus you get to brag that you made "meat" from scratch without a single animal getting hurt. That's a pretty solid return on a Tuesday afternoon.

Less than you'd think. For seitan, all you really need is a large bowl, a mixing spoon, a large pot with a steamer basket, and some parchment or cheesecloth for wrapping. A stand mixer with a dough hook makes kneading easier, but your own two hands work just fine (and count as an arm workout, which is the only fitness advice you'll ever get from me).
Some seitan recipes, I will puree the liquid ingredients first, using a solid high-speed blender.
A food processor is clutch if you're blending tofu, beans, or mushrooms into your dough, and a cast iron skillet gets you the crispy, seared edges that make vegan bacon and steaks hit different. That's it. No lab coat or molecular gastronomy kit required.